Matrimony and Gender
Part Three
Yordanos Addise
Will is the foundation of thought; a person begins to think about a matter through ones will. In this regard, thought and will are interdependent and share a harmonious and complementary meaning. Matrimony, in its essence, is a covenant, an agreement established between two parties. Managing a household, for example, is a covenant (agreement) based on will. Since the Matrimony covenant is founded on mutual consent, its ultimate purpose transcends this world and finds its fulfillment in the Kingdom of Heaven, where we place our hope.
The Matrimony covenant is an agreement established between two parties (husband and wife). In the Orthodox Tewahedo Church, it is a covenant made between one man and one woman, and its establishment and the grace that sustains it come from God. While Matrimony in the worldly sense is seen as merely the union of man and woman, in the Orthodox Tewahedo Church, God is also included. These two parties (man and woman) share a unified will within the covenant. However, since human beings are subject to rise and fall, their will fluctuates along with them. Just as life’s ups and downs bring both challenges and blessings, so too does Matrimony involve physical fatigue and changes in temperament. Yet, in God’s presence, neither thought nor will fluctuates. What belongs to God and is established by Him is inherently good, righteous, and perfect.
In our lack of understanding of God, the challenges that arise in our lives and Matrimony s often lead us to question God’s goodness. However, God always works everything for our benefit. A person may read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and wonder, “How could God destroy humanity?” Yet, if there is a diseased part of our body that threatens our survival, we would follow a doctor’s advice to amputate it, understanding that it is for our good. We would not blame the doctor or accuse them of wrongdoing but instead recognize that they acted to save us. In the same way, if we can trust a human doctor for such a decision, how much more should we trust God who sees all things and works everything out for good? Whether we understand or not, we must believe, as the holy angels do that God’s actions are always for the ultimate good.
The Orthodox Christian view of Matrimony is a covenantal life shared between man and woman, , rooted in commitment and faithfulness. This covenant reflects the unity of the Holy Trinity Father, Son, and Holy Spirit who shares one will. Similarly, in Matrimony, man, woman, and God are united in purpose, and their shared will is to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. God’s ultimate goal for Matrimony is to lead both partners to eternal life in His Kingdom. This unity is the reason the sacrament of Matrimony, or the “Mystery of Crowning,” is one of the seven holy sacraments of the Church. It is called a mystery because the union of two individuals into one flesh is a divine act that transcends human understanding. As it is God Himself who unites the couple, the mystery signifies His presence in the covenant. The Gospel of John, Chapter 2, reveals this divine aspect of Matrimony through the miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee. Here, the Lord, moved by His will and His mother’s intercession, turned water into wine. This act signifies the sanctity of Matrimony and God’s active involvement in its blessings and unity.
In the covenant of Matrimony, man and woman share the responsibility of work and duty. However, by nature, a human being is simply a human being. The distinction between man and woman lies in their roles and responsibilities, not in their intrinsic human nature. Therefore, within the Matrimony covenant, one does not surpass or diminish the other. This equality stems from divine principles, where the physical attributes of masculinity and femininity differ significantly from spiritual roles. Gender, as it relates to roles and responsibilities, reflects specific functions. For instance, in physical terms, the man symbolizes Adam and serves as a priest, representing Christ through his example.
Why do we say Adam is like a priest? (Genesis 2:15-20) Because God gave him authority to manage, tend, and care for the Garden of Eden, and to name the animals. The names Adam gave the animals were meant to reflect the glory and nature of God. Likewise, a priest is someone who reveals the name and glory of God. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, being the High Priest, serves as the ultimate example of masculinity. When we look at women, in the likeness of Eve, we see her as the mother of all the living. This reflects the Church, which gives life through the Holy Spirit and baptism. Even though Eve (woman) brought death to her children through sin, we have received life through the second Eve, our Lady Saint Mary, who enabled us to find life through her obedience and faith.
A woman is the one who gives birth to and brings forth mankind. By giving life, through physical birth and spiritual nurturing, she resembles the Church. Just as there is no division between the Son and the Holy Spirit, there is no division between man and woman in their unity and purpose. In this divine order, man reflects God the Son, while woman reflects the Church. As husband and wife are likened to the head and the body, the Church teaches us to view them as one. The head honors and protects the body, and the body supports and serves the head. The Apostle Paul taught us this balance, saying, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3).
“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant Church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for it, just as Christ does the Church—for we are members of His body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the Church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:25–33)
This passage deeply emphasizes the sacrificial and unconditional love a husband must have for his wife, modeled after Christ’s love for the Church. It highlights the unity, respect, and selfless care that should define the marital relationship.
Cont’d…